


Inertia

by hizashi



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-28 03:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hizashi/pseuds/hizashi
Summary: Jinhwan understands the other members well and gives them good advice; it’s really a wonder that he seems to understand himself so little and is so reluctant to impart that same wisdom upon himself.





	1. Inertia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something had released the floodgates and out had spilled all of Jinhwan’s feelings (taking with them his better judgment).

Jinhwan is lounging on his bed in his underwear when his door is pushed open and Junhwe shuffles in. He’s got his pillow and his phone and an uncertain expression, and Jinhwan can sense trouble. It isn’t just that Junhwe can’t sleep or that he wants to talk or that he’s bored; no, something is actually wrong. Jinhwan says nothing but holds Junhwe’s gaze for a moment, letting him know that it’s fine for him to come in, and then turns his attention back to the game on his phone. He hears the door close and feels the bed dip and creak when Junhwe drops down on it, but he doesn’t give Junhwe his attention or ask what’s wrong. Junhwe will talk when he’s ready. It takes Junhwe a long time to get ready, though, because Jinhwan has beaten fifteen levels of his puzzle game and is just starting to think he’d misread the situation when Junhwe grabs his hand and holds it tight.

“I feel like I’m drowning.”

Jinhwan looks over at Junhwe because that’s a little more dramatic than he’d been expecting, but his irritation warps immediately to concern at the expression on Junhwe’s face. No, Jinhwan had judged the situation correctly when Junhwe had first walked in: Something is seriously wrong. Jinhwan sits up, still holding Junhwe’s hand, and peers with narrowed eyes at Junhwe’s face. Junhwe is lying on his stomach, his head resting on his arm, his face partially obscured by it. His hair is a mess, his brow is creased, his eyes are distant. He isn’t here; he’s somewhere else. Jinhwan frowns and runs a hand through Junhwe’s hair in an attempt to tame it, and then he lets his hand rest on Junhwe’s shoulder. But then Junhwe’s mind comes back from wherever it had gone, and his eyes start to well up with tears. Ah, no, Jinhwan can’t let this happen. He tries to pull Junhwe up, to get him to talk before he loses it, but Junhwe yanks his hand from Jinhwan’s, heaves himself up, and stares at Jinhwan. It’s as if time freezes for the brief moment that Junhwe is sitting there, trembling, and Jinhwan feels suddenly like he can’t breathe, like the very air around him is oppressive. But everything starts to move again when Junhwe flings his arms around Jinhwan. He’s bawling, his face buried in Jinhwan’s neck, and with a quiet sigh Jinhwan wraps his arms around Junhwe’s broad back and rubs it. 

“I can’t—I can’t do this—hyung, I can’t do this anymore—”

Junhwe manages to choke out a few words, and Jinhwan blinks at Junhwe’s shoulder. What had brought this on? Jinhwan closes his eyes and tries to think back on what had happened today. He’d been relaxing for about an hour, before that he’d showered, and before that he’d eaten with Yunhyeong, and before that they’d had practice for god knows how many hours… Ah, that’s right. Hanbin, stretched so thin lately, had completely lost it at practice. He’d exploded at Junhwe, so bad that Jinhwan and Yunhyeong had been ready to jump between them in case it came to blows, but Junhwe had been more hysterical than angry. He’d broken down, shouting that he can’t do it, it’s too hard, he just can’t—and all Hanbin could react with was more yelling. So Jinhwan had said loudly that they should take ten, Donghyuk had taken Junhwe and Yunhyeong had taken Hanbin, and that had been that. Well, Jinhwan had wanted that to be that, but Chanwoo had brought him a water and said quietly that Junhwe hadn’t been angry, that that had been something else. Bobby, lying down beside Jinhwan, had frowned but said nothing (always such a great help), and all Jinhwan had said was that Junhwe would be fine.

So there had been that incident, and considering the hours and hours they’re putting into recording and concert preparations and everything else they have to do, anyone would forgive Junhwe for cracking under the pressure. But Jinhwan knows deep down that that isn’t it. Their tougher-than-usual schedule lately can’t be the only thing. The catalyst, maybe, but not the root cause. No… Jinhwan would be lying to himself if he didn’t acknowledge the real reason that Junhwe is a sobbing mess in his arms right now. Junhwe hadn’t just suddenly snapped for no reason during practice; he’s been stewing for months, and it’s all Jinhwan’s fault. He squeezes his eyes shut. There had been a brief but passionate love affair between the pair that had been moving much too fast for Jinhwan’s liking. Junhwe had wanted to tell, too, and Jinhwan just hadn’t been ready for that. He hadn’t wanted to face his feelings, so he’d run from them. Which—yes, that probably hadn’t been fair to Junhwe (or to himself, really), but Jinhwan has had to deal with a lot of crap ever since he was a teenager, and he’d had no other choice but to grin and bear it, so he thinks he deserves a little leeway if he just hadn’t been ready to pile a relationship on top of all of that. Because a relationship—whether it’s there or not—that he can control. And in Jinhwan’s life, there aren’t a lot of things that he _can_ control. He hadn’t been ready. He’d just wanted to be ready. Or so he’d justified to himself when he’d broken it off with Junhwe a few months ago.

There had been tears but no yelling, and even though Junhwe hadn’t understood why, he’d accepted it. It had been as amicable as it could have been—as it had needed to be—and after a while the whole thing had begun to feel like a passing dream. Or at least that had been the case for Jinhwan. He’d always thought he’d been good at reading his members (especially Junhwe), but maybe he’s not as adept as he’d thought. Or maybe Junhwe has just gotten better at hiding it. Jinhwan sighs and kisses Junhwe’s shoulder, just a soft press of his lips, and whispers that Junhwe will be okay. He looks back up and notices Bobby peeking through the doorway, and with his eyes Jinhwan communicates that he’s handling it. Bobby nods once and then leaves, but he’s replaced almost immediately by Yunhyeong and Donghyuk. Jinhwan mouths that it’ll be okay, and although the two of them look unsure, they disappear, closing the door again behind them. If this is really about their relationship, then… No, whatever it’s about, Jinhwan can deal with it on his own.

He kisses Junhwe’s cheek and pats his back. “C’mon, talk to me. If you don’t talk to me, I can’t help you, remember?” Junhwe’s sobs have faded into hiccups by now, so he pulls back and rubs his face. Jinhwan points to the tissues next to his bed, and Junhwe cleans himself up and blows his nose. He’s still sniffling, rubbing at his eyes, and Jinhwan puts a comforting hand on Junhwe’s knee. Junhwe’s eyes are empty again, but after a while he covers Jinhwan’s hand with his own and fixes Jinhwan with a searching stare. Jinhwan looks away first. It’s still there. In the depths of Junhwe’s eyes, it’s still there. Junhwe is still in love with him.

Well, Jinhwan uses the term love loosely. They all love each other, in their own ways, because they have to. You can’t survive in this business without some level of affection for your members because not only would you not be able to sell the relationships, but you wouldn’t be able to be around each other for twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year for years on end if you didn’t feel something a little beyond friendship. Not necessarily romantic, not necessarily filial, and not necessarily the closest friendship of all time, just something different. And Jinhwan feels that, for all six of them, which is part of the reason he hadn’t noticed his feelings for Junhwe develop into something even more different until those feelings had already become too complicated to ignore. So had it been love? Jinhwan honestly isn’t sure. But there had been something, and that something had disappeared eventually from Junhwe’s gaze after their breakup. But it seems now that Junhwe had just been suppressing it. Jinhwan wets his lips.

“Hyung, I—” Junhwe cuts himself off and swallows, and then he looks at Jinhwan with the most hopeless and miserable expression Jinhwan has ever seen on a human being. (And Jinhwan has gone through multiple survival programs and loss after loss after loss.)  
“It’s okay,” Jinhwan says quietly. “What’s wrong, Junhwe?”  
Junhwe fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “Are you really gonna make me say it?” he asks.  
Jinhwan wants to say no, but he can’t bring himself to say anything, so Junhwe sighs and runs a hand over his face.  
“I still—I still really care about you,” Junhwe says finally. “I tried to let you go, but I just couldn’t. I can’t.”  
“Ah, Junhwe—”  
“No, hyung, let me finish.” Junhwe isn’t looking at Jinhwan anymore. “I want to try again.”

The five words Jinhwan has been dreading. He had hoped that Junhwe had been able to move on because then Jinhwan could move on too. They could just forget everything that had happened. But Jinhwan has been trapped, unable to move from the same spot for months. Nothing has changed. He scratches at his sheets with a finger. The critical problem, of course, has been that Jinhwan is still hopelessly caught up in his feelings for Junhwe despite how much he doesn’t want to be. He isn’t ready, he tells himself again. He gazes at Junhwe sitting across from him on the bed. Junhwe still looks dejected, and Jinhwan’s heart goes out to him. He looks away.

“We can’t…” Jinhwan starts to say, and Junhwe glares at him.  
“Why not?” he demands hotly. “I’m serious, hyung, I’ve thought about what you said so many times and—”  
“Junhwe—”  
“—and it’s either a shitty excuse or you never cared about me like I cared—still care—about you.”

There’s a ringing silence after his words. Jinhwan doesn’t really think it’s fair for Junhwe to say something like that to him. He picks at his toenail, unable to look Junhwe in the eye. He’d ignored his feelings for a long time. Convinced himself that they aren’t beyond the scope of that weird member-affection he has for all of them. Talked himself into believing that what he feels for Junhwe is no different than what he feels for Bobby or Hanbin. But the longer he and Junhwe had danced around the elephant in the room, the more difficult it had become for Jinhwan to stay in control of the situation. And then finally, he’d pulled Junhwe aside one night and said that they needed to talk… but that conversation had devolved into something involving more kissing than talking. It had been good, for a while, because Jinhwan relishes the kind of attention Junhwe had lavished on him, but as their encounters grew more and more intimate, Jinhwan had started to panic. The doubt and insecurity caused by this panic had led to the breakup, but just because there had been fear doesn’t mean there hadn’t also been love. There’s that word again. Jinhwan bites his lip.

From somewhere deep within the depths of his heart where he’d buried them rise all of his feelings for Junhwe. They spread throughout his chest, so many and so strong that they’re painful, and Jinhwan’s heart is pounding. Is this love? Whatever it is, he does still care. He’s always cared about Junhwe. Even though he’d ended it, it had been a personal problem; it hadn’t been because he’d never liked Junhwe in the first place. “Hyung?” Junhwe’s voice draws Jinhwan from his thoughts, and he looks up. Junhwe is still wearing a dispirited expression, and even though he’s so big, he seems small somehow. Small and broken. Jinhwan wants to bash his head into the wall for being the cause of this. He’s been a fool. Jinhwan crawls toward Junhwe and takes both of his hands. “You’re right. It was a shitty excuse.” Junhwe says nothing, staring at their interlocked fingers.

“I never stopped caring about you. And I broke up with you because I wasn’t—because—because I was afraid.”

Jinhwan had been about to say that he wasn’t ready, but he’d changed his mind at the expression on Junhwe’s face. It had been twisting into anger at the same old excuse, and that had somehow prompted Jinhwan to finally cough up the real reason he’d run from his relationship: He’s terrified. He’s terrified of what the others will think. He’s terrified of screwing it up. He’s terrified that the precarious balance between member-love, brotherly love, and romantic love he’d established between himself and Junhwe and all the others will come crashing down around him. Once they start this, it’s out of Jinhwan’s control. So truth be told, Jinhwan is just afraid. He squeezes Junhwe’s hands.

“Afraid?” Junhwe repeats hoarsely. Then his voice starts to rise: “Afraid, but _you’re_ the one who pulled me aside and forced me to talk to you about it. Afraid, but _you_ were the one who kissed me first. You were afraid, but you’re the one who started it!”

It’s true. Jinhwan had been unable to deal with his own feelings, and he could tell Junhwe had been into him, so he’d dragged Junhwe outside after practice in the middle of the night to confront him about it. At the time Jinhwan had been so determined to ignore them that he hadn’t really, consciously, completely come to terms with his more-than-friendly feelings for Junhwe, so the meeting had been more about getting Junhwe to get over his crush than the two of them coming to some sort of mutual agreement. Jinhwan had somehow managed to convince himself that once Junhwe had moved on, his own confusing feelings would sort themselves out naturally and things would go back to normal. The opposite had happened, of course. Junhwe had frozen up, spluttering, beet red, mortified, and when Jinhwan had cupped Junhwe’s chin in his hand to force him to look Jinhwan in the eye, their closeness, the adrenaline, _something_ had released the floodgates and out had spilled all of Jinhwan’s feelings (taking with them his better judgment). So he’d kissed Junhwe. And again. And a lot more. And eventually Junhwe had relaxed and gazed at Jinhwan with such love and trust and comfort that even Jinhwan had been surprised to see Junhwe so vulnerable. “I was so scared and so sure you didn’t feel the same,” Junhwe had said, the relief evident in his voice. “You can be really hard to read sometimes, hyung.” Jinhwan had simply kissed him again.

This, of course, had been the beginning of the end. Once the high from the newness of the relationship had worn off, all Jinhwan had felt was dread. Had Yunhyeong seen them that one time? Had their manager ever thought about why they’d always asked to share a hotel room? Had some lingering touch been caught on one of the dozens of cameras constantly filming them? These thoughts had consumed Jinhwan. They had made him sick with fear. They still make him sick. He takes a deep, shaky breath. He feels strange now. It’s as if finally understanding what’s been upsetting him all this time has lifted a veil from his eyes. He looks at Junhwe and tilts his head.

“I was afraid, but I didn’t realize it at the time.”  
Junhwe squints at Jinhwan. “What?”  
“You know,” Jinhwan mutters with a shrug, “afraid of stuff…”  
“Like what?” Junhwe asks stubbornly.  
“We have to be around each other all the time. If you and I get together, that would change everything.”  
“How so?”  
Jinhwan’s face scrunches up in irritation. “You’re really annoying, did you know that?”  
“Yes,” Junhwe says with a grin.

Junhwe looks so cute that Jinhwan wants to smile too, but he doesn’t. He frowns a little, and Junhwe’s smile falters. Jinhwan bites his lip. It’s comforting, on some level, to know that Junhwe is so unbothered by the potential risks of a relationship, but that also just makes Jinhwan feel like he needs to be anxious and neurotic enough for the both of them. “Ah, Goo Junhwe,” he says. He pulls one of his hands from Junhwe’s grip and reaches up to caress his face. Junhwe leans into the touch, his eyes closed, and Jinhwan can feel his heart melting. He has to get back on track or he’ll find himself swept up in this again…

“If we get together, it’ll be weird for the kids, and if we break up, it’ll be weird for them too.”  
Junhwe opens his eyes. “When we got together the first time, no one noticed, and when we broke up, no one noticed then either.”  
“Oh no, they definitely noticed when we broke up.”  
“Really?” Junhwe asks, unconvinced.  
“Your meltdown today, for starters.”  
A bit of red creeps into Junhwe’s cheeks. “Okay, well, just because they noticed doesn’t mean they’ll be weird about it, and for fuck’s sake, hyung, I dunno why I’m the one who has to tell you that.”

Jinhwan blinks. He’s been with the team since the beginning, so he knows everything about them. He’s the oldest, so he’s been everyone’s pillar since the beginning too. And when you’ve spent five or six years with the same people—day in and day out, every waking moment—you come to understand who they are. And that includes whether or not they’d be negatively affected by two of their friends getting together. None of them would care. Some of them might be confused, none of them would probably ever let Jinhwan live it down, and all of them would be there for moral support if the relationship ever ended. Jinhwan knows this; he’s always known this. But he’s still scared. He can’t help it. The sad thing is that if any of the members had come to him for advice about this very issue, he’d say exactly what Junhwe had just said. Okay, maybe not exactly what Junhwe had just said, but something along the lines of no one really being bothered by it. Jinhwan understands them all well and gives them good advice; it’s really a wonder that he seems to understand himself so little and is so reluctant to impart that same wisdom upon himself.

He sighs and reaches a little further back to tickle at the hair behind Junhwe’s ear. “Yeah… You’re right.”  
Junhwe blinks. “I am?”  
“You are,” Jinhwan says with a smile. “I still like you a lot and you being a mess is my fault and I broke up with you for a shitty reason.”

He hasn’t been fair to Junhwe or to himself. And despite how afraid he’d felt and still feels, maybe he should just suck it up and try it. His hand drops to Junhwe’s shoulder and he glances up at him. Something of what he’s feeling must have shown in his eyes because Junhwe inches closer and pulls Jinhwan toward him. Jinhwan is practically in Junhwe’s lap now, his arm curling around Junhwe’s neck. They’re so close. Jinhwan swallows. “Sooo…” Junhwe is looking at Jinhwan expectantly, and Jinhwan is starting to feel uncomfortably warm. “I’m willing to try again,” Jinhwan mumbles finally. The change in Junhwe is immediate. He smiles widely and leans in and… fuck, Jinhwan is so weak. It’s only when he hears Yunhyeong banging around in the kitchen and Bobby shouting something about no toothpaste in the bathroom that Jinhwan remembers that his door is unlocked. He jerks back (which is a pretty impressive feat considering the position he’s ended up in) and shoves Junhwe off of him. Then he rolls off of the bed and hurries to the door, locks it, and sighs. He grabs pajama pants and an old t-shirt from the floor and puts them on, fixes his hair, and then faces Junhwe. Junhwe is gazing in Jinhwan’s general direction with a vacant expression. He’s somewhere else again. Jinhwan sits back down on the bed.

“Why are you so embarrassed of me?” Junhwe asks after a while.  
Jinhwan frowns. “I’m not.”  
“Then why lock the door?”  
Jinhwan clucks his tongue. “Because getting caught in the throes of passion is exactly the kind of awkward situation we need to be in right now,” he replies dryly.  
“What?”  
“You were getting a little frisky,” Jinhwan says, poking Junhwe in the chest.  
“I guess, but…” Junhwe’s brow furrows. He’s clearly thinking about something else. “We have to tell them, hyung.”  
“It just makes me so nervous,” Jinhwan mutters.  
“So you _are_ embarrassed of me,” Junhwe huffs. 

He leans against the wall with a frown. Jinhwan slides closer and fixes Junhwe’s hair, then he starts smoothing out Junhwe’s ratty old shirt. He isn’t embarrassed by Junhwe. Sure, Junhwe is weird and loud and needy, but he’s funny and tender and talented and handsome and… Jinhwan licks his lips and stops fussing with Junhwe’s stupid ugly shirt. This is ridiculous. 

“I’m not _embarrassed,_ ” Jinhwan says finally. “Not of you anyway. This shirt on the other hand…”  
Junhwe punches Jinhwan’s shoulder. “Fuck off, I love this shirt. But for real, hyung, if it’s not me, then—”  
“It’s everything,” Jinhwan says.  
“You keep saying that—”  
“Which is why,” Jinhwan interrupts loudly, “I’m just going to deal with it.”  
Junhwe blinks. “Oh.”  
“I said we can try again, so let’s try again.”  
“Right.”  
“Anyway, we should talk about what happened today at practice.”  
Junhwe groans. “Do we have to?”  
“Yes,” Jinhwan replies sternly.

***

It’s going well, all things considered. Their conversation that night had gone on for quite some time, and when they’d settled down to sleep, Jinhwan had asked Junhwe if he still felt like drowning. “My head’s just above the water line,” Junhwe had said. Well, it had been something, at least. He’d also wanted to tell—that night, the next day, immediately—but Jinhwan had asked for a month. Junhwe seems to have been placated by having a set timeframe and hadn’t pushed it. Jinhwan tries not to think too much about it, which isn’t all that difficult to do, truth be told. They’re still just as busy as ever, so most of Jinhwan’s time is occupied by work. So outside of Jinhwan’s bedroom or somewhere else where they’re alone, nothing has really changed. Well, Jinhwan’s stress levels are higher than normal, but no one really pays it much mind; they’re all so stressed that Jinhwan’s stresses pass under the radar. But when he’s with Junhwe, everything melts away. It’s like Jinhwan is suddenly somewhere quiet and safe. But when they’re apart…

Jinhwan pulls the earbuds from his ears after beating Hanbin at Overwatch for the eighth time and swivels around. Junhwe is lying on Jinhwan’s bed, his computer balanced on his stomach, his mouth moving wordlessly. He must be practicing his impressions for variety shows. Jinhwan glances at the time on his computer and rubs his eyes. Bobby should be back by now. Jinhwan hops to his feet, stretches, and then makes his way to the bed. Junhwe pulls out his headphones. “Hyung?” Jinhwan threads his fingers through Junhwe’s hair. “I’m going.” _So it would be weird if you stayed_ is the unsaid half of that sentence. Junhwe grumbles, but Jinhwan is pulling on a sweater and walking out of his room. He pauses just outside his door and looks around. The apartment is unusually quiet. Seconds later Junhwe emerges from Jinhwan’s room and envelops Jinhwan in his arms. Jinhwan tenses up immediately but doesn’t push Junhwe away. If it’s this much, it’s forgivable. But then Junhwe kisses Jinhwan’s neck, and Jinhwan tries to lean away, but then—

“What are you two doing?” Donghyuk asks, half-laughing.

Jinhwan slips easily from Junhwe’s grip as Junhwe’s arms fall limply to his sides. “Junhwe was just asking a question,” Jinhwan says vaguely. Now that he’s outside of Junhwe’s embrace, Jinhwan feels cold and incomplete. He wraps his arms around himself and asks Donghyuk where Bobby is. Donghyuk shrugs. His room, maybe? Jinhwan shuffles toward Bobby’s room and waves a hand when Donghyuk reminds him about their plans to go to the studio later. With a heavy heart he pushes Bobby’s door open and slips inside. Bobby’s room is dim, and Bobby himself is lying on his bed in his towel, tapping away at his phone. He doesn’t acknowledge Jinhwan at all, not even when Jinhwan sits down on the bed.

“I could hear Hanbin whining all the way from the bathroom when I was showering. Would it kill you to let him win once?”  
“It’s payback for practice,” Jinhwan answers easily. Bobby snorts.  
“Well what’s wrong?”  
Jinhwan runs a hand through his hair. “I’m going to tell you something that you have to keep secret. Can you do that?”  
Bobby puts his phone down, eyebrows raised so high that Jinhwan has to fight the urge to make a joke about the size of his eyes.  
“What, do you have a girlfriend?”  
“I have Junhwe.”

It takes a minute for it to sink in. Jinhwan can actually see the cogs turning in Bobby’s brain as he slowly realizes the implications behind what Jinhwan had said. Then he sits up and punches Jinhwan’s shoulder.

“Yo, congratulations, man, what the fuck?”

He’s got on his characteristic bright, pure smile, and Jinhwan almost wants to feel hopeful. Bobby wears his heart on his sleeve; if he’d been unhappy, it would have shown. But he seems so genuine… Jinhwan swallows and asks Bobby if he’s weirded out at all. Bobby frowns thoughtfully. “I guess it’s weird, like unexpected weird, but not _weird_ weird,” he says slowly. Ah, Bobby, eloquent as ever. Jinhwan smiles in spite of himself. “You don’t think the others will care?” Bobby scoffs, smacking Jinhwan’s shoulder again. Of course not, hyung, what the fuck, hyung, doesn’t Jinhwan know they love him too much to care about something like that? Jinhwan looks at Bobby (who is glaring at Jinhwan but with a sense of earnestness and sincerity) and sighs. Bobby hits him again.

“What, you think we’d throw you guys out of the group?” Bobby asks. Jinhwan shrugs half-heartedly, and Bobby shakes him. “Bro, I can’t believe you think that! First of all, it’s a shitty reason to kick someone out, and second of all, we _need_ you! Fuck, hyung, _I_ need you!”

Bobby starts off on a rant about how all the times he’d said he’d have never made it this far if it weren’t for Hanbin and Jinhwan had been true, that Jinhwan holds them up and keeps them together, and that Hanbin might be their leader and producer, but it’s Jinhwan who’s their leader in life. He also rambles on about how they need Junhwe and his jokes and even his airheadedness, and it doesn’t matter if they’re gay or straight or whatever, they’ll all respect each other and their relationships and isn’t that what they’d decided years, ago, hyung? Jinhwan has to blink back tears. Yeah, that’s Bobby, truly as eloquent as ever. The heartfelt moment is ruined, however, when Donghyuk throws the door open to ask if Jinhwan is ready to go.

“Hyung, if we leave now, we can—oh. Oh my gosh.”

Although Bobby had treated Jinhwan to a touching monologue about Jinhwan’s integral and irreplaceable position on the team, he had done so rather sensationally. This means that Donghyuk had walked in to see Jinhwan crying on Bobby’s bed while Bobby himself was standing atop it, starkers, waving his wet towel around for dramatic effect. Donghyuk stares at the two of them, and they stare right back for a long awkward moment until Donghyuk slowly backs out of the room and closes the door gently. “I’ll leave you two to it then,” he whispers. Jinhwan looks from the door to Bobby and then bursts out laughing. Bobby almost breaks his legs because scrambling off the bed so fast, and he hurriedly pulls on a pair of basketball shorts. He shrugs and grins sheepishly at Jinhwan while Jinhwan continues to wheeze with laughter. Well, if Donghyuk can survive a scene like he’d just witnessed with minimal emotional scarring, then Jinhwan is fairly confident that he and the other members will be able to deal with any awkwardness that might arise from Jinhwan’s relationship. Jinhwan slides off the bed before Bobby can get back on and hugs him tight. 

“We’re gonna tell everyone soon, but until then, keep quiet. And thanks.”

Bobby just pats Jinhwan’s head.

***

Junhwe and Jinhwan tell everyone a week later when they’re all alone in the practice room at some godforsaken hour in the middle of the night. There’s a lot of yelling (teasing) and a lot of punching (playfully), and though everyone is sort of confused, there’s no question that they’re all happy and supportive. And somewhere between Hanbin shouting about how Junhwe can’t go crying to Jinhwan if he fucks up during practice and Chanwoo telling Junhwe that he’s still Jinhwan’s favorite and Jinhwan getting smothered (with love, probably) by Yunhyeong and Donghyuk while Bobby just sits there cackling, Jinhwan starts to feel at ease. He’s still a little nervous, but that’s just how he is. When Yunhyeong and Donghyuk finally release him, Junhwe catches his eye and grins, and Jinhwan smiles automatically. He can finally start moving forward again.


	2. Personal Security

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems that only Donghyuk and Junhwe have escaped whatever weird funk Jinhwan is in that’s causing him to do, well, whatever it is that he’s doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hunny pot: i would love a scene of junhoe being shitty with confrontation trying to get jinhwan to admit that he's been secretly dating him but also secretly dating 4 of the other members together...... he would do it so stupidly too,,,like saying something along the lines of "where are all your other men????" when jinhwan tries to kiss him and jinhwan just goes "what.... who even says something like that...." and jinhwan just continues doing what he was doing bc that was really weird and they were having a moment and junhoe just keeps being dramatic
> 
> And thus, this dumb extra chapter was born.

Jinhwan and Junhwe are all alone in the apartment. Hanbin and Bobby are recording; Chanwoo and Yunhyeong are working out; and Donghyuk is at a dance lesson. Having the place to themselves is a rare enough occasion, so they’re taking full advantage of the situation—or at least Jinhwan is trying to. Junhwe is being difficult and lazier than usual, and Jinhwan has had enough. He sits up, exasperated, and pulls at Junhwe’s cheeks. “Is something wrong?” Junhwe sort of glares up at him, his expression cloudy as he pushes Jinhwan’s hands away. He also makes a half-hearted attempt at shoving Jinhwan off, but Jinhwan refuses to let himself be moved. “Get off. You’re fucking heavy.” Jinhwan folds his arms across his chest, and it’s his turn to glare now. He won’t move until Junhwe tells him what’s wrong. Junhwe faces away from Jinhwan and chews his lip.

“Just go and mess around with one of your other boytoys,” Junhwe grumbles.  
“Boyto—what? My _what?_ ”  
Jinhwan gapes at Junhwe, whose neck and ears start to redden. From embarrassment? Anger? Jinhwan isn’t entirely sure.  
“Donghyuk told me,” Junhwe says. He still isn’t looking Jinhwan in the eye. “He told me everything.”  
“What, in the name of all that is holy, did he fucking say?”

***

Donghyuk closes Bobby’s door gently behind him. He walks to the kitchen and sits at the table, then he abruptly gets up, pours himself a glass of water, and sits back down. He raises the glass to his lips once, twice, and then again before finally taking a dainty sip. He puts the glass down, rubs his face, then snatches the glass back up and gulps down the remaining contents of the cup. He really can’t believe what he’d just seen. Like a scene out of some bizarre comic, Bobby had been shouting about something or other, buck-naked, waving his bath towel around like a madman. All the while Jinhwan had sat on his bed, tears streaming down his face. Bizarre occurrences are standard fare at the apartment, never mind that Donghyuk is certainly no stranger to naked or crying men. Indeed, a naked Bobby and a crying Jinhwan aren’t all that extraordinary independently, but combined, the whole thing had seemed oddly contrived and rather disturbing. Donghyuk’s first thought, in fact, had been that they had been filming for something—but then of course Bobby wouldn’t _actually_ be naked, and Donghyuk would have been told about a filming at the apartment anyway.

Really, though, this is just the latest in a recent string of weird incidents involving Jinhwan and various other members. On their own, these incidents had seemed innocuous. Odd, yes, but harmless in the grand scheme of things. But then when Donghyuk considers them all together…

It had all started with Hanbin, as most things often do. He’d beaten Jinhwan in a series of Overwatch matches and had therefore spent the rest of the day gloating. (Before Donghyuk and Yunhyeong had gone out for coffee, Donghyuk had heard Hanbin tell Jinhwan to bite his bronze ass, to which Jinhwan had eloquently replied that he would beat Hanbin’s bronze ass to a bloody pulp.) Later that evening, Donghyuk had returned home to see Hanbin flailing around on the couch with Jinhwan on top of him, pulling his shirt up. They’d stopped whatever they had been doing as soon as they’d noticed Donghyuk—both of them flushed and sheepish—and Donghyuk had assumed at first that Jinhwan had been attempting to tickle Hanbin to death. But maybe he’d walked in on something… decidedly stranger.

This had been soon followed by the Chanwoo incident. Donghyuk had been sitting at the table reading when Jinhwan had shuffled into the kitchen. He’d been completely absorbed in his phone, so he hadn’t noticed Donghyuk. Jinhwan had then put his phone down and opened the cupboard, but he hadn’t been able to reach the bowls. Donghyuk had been feeling rather petty that day (Jinhwan had teased him ruthlessly the day before) so he had been content to let Jinhwan suffer. But Donghyuk’s amusement had been short-lived because Jinhwan had only gotten to his second attempt to make himself as long as possible when Chanwoo had walked in and gotten the bowl. To Donghyuk’s glee, however, Chanwoo had then proceeded to hold it out of Jinhwan’s reach. Jinhwan had made one pass at it and then pouted, so Chanwoo had set the bowl on the counter, scooped Jinhwan up in his arms, and kissed Jinhwan’s temple. Or maybe he’d just been whispering in Jinhwan’s ear. Donghyuk really hadn’t been sure. But whatever Chanwoo had done, he’d left just as suddenly as he’d come in. Jinhwan had sighed, picked up his bowl, and turned around, at which point his eyes had settled on Donghyuk. He’d blushed and muttered something, and then he’d toddled off to get his cereal.

And then not even three days ago Donghyuk had happened upon on an odd scene involving Jinhwan and Yunhyeong. The scent of Yunhyeong’s risotto had wafted down the hall to Donghyuk’s room, so even though he’d been so warm and comfortable snuggled up in his bed, the thought of delicious food had simply been too alluring. He’d peeked into the kitchen to gauge how close Yunhyeong had been to finishing (too early and he’d be asked to help, too late and he’d be forced to clean up), but that’s when he’d seen it: Jinhwan had been leaning against the counter, speaking in a low voice with a serious expression, when suddenly Yunhyeong had reached out and… caressed Jinhwan’s face. Then he’d smoothed out Jinhwan’s hair where he’d touched it, taking a step closer, and that had been Donghyuk’s cue to retreat quietly back to the safety of his bedroom. Needless to say, he’d gone without any of Yunhyeong’s risotto that night.

Donghyuk frowns at his empty glass. It seems that only he and Junhwe have escaped whatever weird funk Jinhwan is in that’s causing him to do, well, whatever it is that he’s doing. He feels like he should discuss this with Junhwe. At just that moment, Junhwe himself shuffles into the kitchen. He seems moody, but Donghyuk decides to try his luck anyway. He clears his throat.

“Hwe-yah,” he says.  
Junhwe grunts.  
“Do you feel like Jinhwanie-hyung has been weird lately?”  
“No,” Junhwe replies shortly.  
“Oh c’mon,” Donghyuk says, “I caught him doing some weird stuff with everyone.”  
At this Junhwe almost drops his spoon. “What kind of weird stuff?”

Donghyuk explains all of the odd scenes he’d walked in on the past few weeks. Junhwe’s expression grows darker and darker as Donghyuk goes on, so Donghyuk is almost afraid to ask what he thinks. But he does anyway.

“It’s almost like hyung is trying to seduce everyone,” Donghyuk says thoughtfully. “Except me and you.”  
“Yeah,” Junhwe mutters. “Seems like it.”  
“I think maybe we need to find him a girlfriend.”  
Junhwe chokes on his tea.  
“Or maybe he had one and they broke up, so he’s being extra clingy.”

Junhwe stands abruptly, mumbling angrily to himself, and stalks off. Donghyuk gapes after him. 

“Man, _everyone_ is being weird lately,” he says to no one in particular.

***

Junhwe tells Jinhwan everything that Donghyuk had told him. Jinhwan isn’t sure whether he should laugh or cry—laugh at the absurdity of it all or cry because Junhwe had really believed that Jinhwan had been going behind his back. Or something. It isn’t exactly clear what Junhwe had taken away from his conversation with Donghyuk. Jinhwan had been so terrified of how the others would react to him and Junhwe that he really has no idea how Junhwe could think that Jinhwan would be trying to seduce all of them. It’s just plain ridiculous.

The Hanbin thing—that cheeky bastard had been trying to kill Jinhwan (for the nth time), and when Donghyuk had walked in, Jinhwan had just regained the upper hand. There had been tickling and there was going to be the most painful nipple twist Hanbin had ever received in his life, but Donghyuk had interrupted them. And then Chanwoo, yeah, he’d gotten a little touchy-feely, but he’d pulled Jinhwan in nice and close just so he could whisper into Jinhwan’s ear that he was tiny. Like the asshole he is. As for Yunhyeong, there had been something in Jinhwan’s hair. It had really been that innocent and banal. And Bobby, well…

“I told him about us,” Jinhwan confesses. “I wanted to test the waters before we told everyone.”  
“And you guys had to be naked for that?” Junhwe sniffs.  
“Oh my god, first of all, I wasn’t naked, and second of all, we’ve all seen each other naked anyway, and third of all, I barged in on him right after he got out of the shower. He was just waving the towel around because he’s Bobby.”  
Junhwe is still pouting, but he seems a bit less upset than he had earlier. “Okay, well… Why’d you make a big deal about waiting if you were just gonna tell Bobby-hyung anyway?”  
Jinhwan knows he’s won, that Junhwe is just reaching for something to be mad about now. “I told you, I was just testing what his reaction would be.”  
“And?”  
“He doesn’t care.”

Junhwe smiles a little, and Jinhwan runs a hand through Junhwe’s hair. Jinhwan had gotten off of Junhwe over the course of the conversation, and the two of them are now sitting against the wall. Jinhwan scoots closer, wraps his arms around Junhwe’s neck, and kisses Junhwe’s cheek.

“Can we please get back to what we were doing before—”  
“Jinanie-hyung, I need—oh my god, not Junhwe too!” Donghyuk groans. He slams Jinhwan’s door shut again just as quickly as he’d flung it open. Jinhwan starts banging his head against the wall, and Junhwe looks between him and the closed door with a thoughtful frown.

“Do you think he’s figured it out, then?”

***

He had not, apparently, figured it out. When Junhwe and Jinhwan sit the others down during a break at practice and say they have an announcement, Donghyuk interrupts them to, in total seriousness, claim that Jinhwan had just broken up with his girlfriend and that’s why he’s been so weird. This proclamation is met with complete silence that goes unbroken for several long, painful moments until Bobby starts howling with laughter because he, of course, knows the real reason. The rest of them start laughing with (or perhaps at) Bobby, so Jinhwan takes the opportunity to whisper to Donghyuk that that is most definitely not what this meeting is about, and if he could play off what he’d said as a joke, Jinhwan would be very grateful. “Seriously, man, I don’t want Junhwe to give himself a heart attack.” Donghyuk had been confused, but because he’s Donghyuk and therefore a sweet, obedient kid, he assures everyone that what he’d said had been a joke once they’ve all calmed down again. A sly glance at Junhwe confirms that this had been just enough to keep him from popping a blood vessel, so Jinhwan explains that he and Junhwe are seeing each other.

It goes over as well as Jinhwan could have expected, but that night after Junhwe goes back to his own room, Jinhwan sighs into his pillow. Hopefully now that everything is out in the open, there won’t be any more misunderstandings like this, but Jinhwan is realistic. They’re all pretty clingy, so really… it’s just a matter of time. Well, at least it’s all so absurd he can laugh about it later. Or perhaps cry. With Jinhwan, it’s a toss-up really. But he takes solace in the fact that his biggest worry now is something completely ridiculous, and with a ghost of a smile on his face, Jinhwan drifts off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. A few notes.
> 
> 1\. This was partially inspired by Junhwe's saying earlier this year that they were really busy when preparing for the dome cons and that it had been hard so he'd cried. I wrote most of this when I was feeling down though. (But you know me... I need my happy endings.)
> 
> 2\. A non-AU?! I'm kind of out of my comfort zone with this one, so I hope it's enjoyable regardless.
> 
> 3\. Finally... something that isn't related to AoL, haha. I hope fans of that series enjoyed this one too. ♥
> 
> 4\. The dumb extra chapter is just meant to be a fun little omake... so I hope you enjoy it, lol.
> 
> 5\. A special thanks to my hunny pot for listening to me whine about this while I was writing it, and to my unnie for threatening me unless I finished... haha.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


End file.
